All posts by Rebecca

relationships

More events than just one

Hollywood has done us a great disservice, though this should come as no surprise.  This time, I’m thinking about relationships and how they are portrayed in movies, specifically when the relationship ends due to the death of one of the partners.  In the average movie, when someone’s husband or wife dies, they spend a disproportionate amount of time watching their wedding video and being sad.  The being sad bit I can understand, the wedding video I don’t.

I know its symbolic and is a quick and cheap way of showing how much this individual misses the other, but its also really wrong.  As well as fuelling the wedding video market, which is stupidly overpriced and terribly saccharine, its not even a good representation of what a relationship is.  A relationship isn’t one event, it is a series of events, both good and bad, over a period of time.

Although family videos were made of my wedding day, I never watch them and don’t think I actually have them anymore.  I had a photographer come and take photos, and I look at them once every year or so, because they’re pretty, but not because “it was the happiest day of my life™”.  I define my relationship with my (legal) husband by many different events, and I wouldn’t want just one to define my entire relationship.  To only let my wedding day define my relationship of over 16 years with him cheats both of us the life experience we’ve gained together and the good and bad times we’ve spent together.

I’m far more likely to remember out 10th wedding anniversary, countless weekends lying in bed and talking about everything, discoveries that we’ve made while being out and about together, songs we’ve made up, laughing until we cry and much awesome sex.  All of this is far more fun than that one day where I dressed up in a white dress and said, “I do” in front of family and friends.

To let a wedding day define an entire relationship is wrong and unfair.  It puts impossible expectations on people to make their wedding day be the best day of their life, and suggests that everything from there onwards will be downhill.  It fuels an industry that already gouges people, encourages conspicuous consumption and suggests to those who cannot afford the most outrageous wedding ever that they will be miserable for all eternity – when perhaps all they wanted (if they want to get married – that’s a whole different debate) was a simple ceremony in front of a few close friends and family.

I’d much prefer a montage of time spent together, as I have seen some movies do.  Picnics, birthdays, anniversaries, parties and just time spent together to sum up the essence of a lifetime spent together.  That is far more realistic than just one event being played over and over.

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Feminism, politics

Queen’s Birthday Honours List – Sausage-fest

I wasn’t going to blog this weekend or until after my exams are done, but then I read the Queen’s Birthday Honours List as printed in The Age (gotta love the sub-editor who failed to notice “brithday”) and was absolutely horrified by the lack of female representation in the awards.  On my visual count (and I counted a total of 653 awards approximately), only 28% of the awards went to women.  All categories had an appalling representation of women.  Just looking at the police force and armed services and you’d think that there were next to no women in those fields.  Women make up slightly over half of the population, why are women making up far less than half of the QUEEN’s birthday list?

My count is as follows:

Order of Australia
Companion (AC) in the general division
Total awardees – 5
No of women – 1

Officer (AO) in the General Division
Total awardees – 21
No of women – 5

Officer (AO) in the Military Division
Royal Australian Navy
Total awardees – 1
No of women – 0

Royal Australian Air Force
Total awardees – 1
No of women – 0

Member (AM) in the General Division
Total awardees – 136
No of women – 33 – 35 (two awardee’s gender could not be identified)

Member (AM) in the Military Division
Royal Australian Navy
Total awardees – 2
No of women – 0

Australian Army
Total awardees – 8
No of women – 0

Medal (OAM) in the general division
Total awardees – 303 (approx)
No of women – 118 (approx)

Medal (OAM) in the Military Division
Royal Australian Navy
Total awardees – 2
No of women – 0

Australian Army
Total awardees – 5
No of women – 0

Royal Australian Air Force
Total awardees – 4
No of women – 0

Australian Public Service Medal

Australian Public Service

Total awardees – 17
No of women – 5

NSW Public Service
Total awardees – 11
No of women – 1

Victoria Public Service
Total awardees – 6
No of women – 2

Queensland Public Service
Total awardees – 5
No of women – 2

Western Australia Public Service
Total awardees – 1
No of women – 1

South Australia Public Service
Total awardees – 3
No of women – 1

Australian Police Medal
Australian Federal Police
Total awardees – 2
No of women – 0

NSW Police
Total awardees – 8
No of women – 0

Victoria Police
Total awardees – 5
No of women – 1

Queensland Police
Total awardees – 6
No of women – 1

Western Australia Police
Total awardees – 4
No of women – 0

South Australia Police
Total awardees – 3
No of women – 0

Tasmania Police
Total awardees – 1
No of women – 0

Nothern Territory
Total awardees – 1
No of women – 0

Australian Fire Service Medal
NSW Fire Services
Total awardees – 11
No of women – 0

Victoria Fire Services
Total awardees – 9
No of women – 0

Queensland Fire Services
Total awardees – 3
No of women – 0

Western Australia Fire Services
Total awardees – 1
No of women – 0

South Australian Fire Services
Total awardees – 2
No of women – 1

ACT Fire Services
Total awardees – 1
No of women – 0

Ambulance Service Medal (ASM)
Queensland Ambulance Service
Total awardees – 2
No of women – 0

South Australian Ambulance Service
Total awardees – 1
No of women – 0

ACT Ambulance Service
Total awardees – 1
No of women – 1

Emergency Services Medal (ESM)
Queensland Emergency Services
Total awardees – 3
No of women – 0

Western Australia Emergency Services
Total awardees – 3
No of women – 0

South Australia Emergency Services
Total awardees – 1
No of women – 0

Commendation for Gallantry
Australian Army
Total awardees – 3
No of women – 0

Distinguished Service Medal (DSM)
Australian Army
Total awardees – 4
No of women – 0

Commendation for Distinguished Service
Australian Army
Total awardees – 8
No of women – 0

Bar to the Conspicuous Service Cross
Australian Army
Total awardees – 1
No of women – 0

Conspicuous Service Cross (CSC)
Royal Australian Navy
Total awardees – 6
No of women – 0

Australian Army
Total awardees – 9
No of women – 1

Royal Australian Air Force
Total awardees – 6
No of women – 1

Conspicuous Service Medal (CSM)
Royal Australian Navy
Total awardees – 3
No of women – 1

Australian Army
Total awardees – 13
No of women – 4

Royal Australian Air Force
Total awardees – 4
No of women – 1

Total awardees – 653 (approx)
Total No of women – 183 (approx)
Percentage representation – 28%

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Uncategorized

A hiatus

I’ve had to take a bit of a break from the blog because I’ve at the end of my last semester of my degree (if everything else goes to plan), so I’ve had assignments and exams to do.

I will be back blogging more in July when I will have time, and a life again (YAY!).  To keep you interested, here are some topics I intend to blog on:

  • Arrogance of religions claiming to be the “one true way”
  • Trigger warnings and why they’re important – learning the hard way
  • Forgiveness and why you don’t have to forgive

And anything else that takes my fancy.

So yes, I’ll be back blogging in July.

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disability

Public transport and disability in Melbourne

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Priority seat
A blue sign with white text which reads, "PRIORITY SEAT: Please ensure that this seat is available upon request for the elderly and people with special needs"

Posted as part of

Blogging Against Disablism Day 2010

Before I start, I will give a quick intro.  I am a temporarily abled, bisexual, cis-gendered, white, middle-class female living in Australia.  If I use any language in this post that is abled, please let me know and I will correct it.

I’ve been thinking recently about how much it must suck to travel on public transport in Melbourne when disabled.  This sign that I took a photo of on Friday is present on buses, trams and trains in Melbourne and nominally this means that the public transport in Melbourne is friendly to those with disabilities.  But on a deeper look that isn’t even remotely true.

Trains are wheel chair friendly, the drivers have ramps in their compartments and I’ve been on trains where the drivers have ordered off passengers so that the wheel chair user can board the train – more common at peak hour when trains on some of the train lines resemble sardine cans more than trains.  When this has happened, there hasn’t even been much audible grumbling, even though those passengers who have gotten off the train may not be able to re-board and may be stuck waiting up to 20 minutes for the next train (depending on the train line).

Trams have wheel chair ramps, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen a wheel chair user on a tram.  This isn’t all that surprising as most tram stops are not even remotely wheel chair friendly.

Now I’ve dealt with what many abled people would consider people with disabilities.  This isn’t even remotely the tip of the iceberg though.  There are a whole range of other visible and invisible disabilities, and this is where the sign above comes into play.  Wheel chair users bring their own seat onto public transport and therefore won’t be the ones asking to use the seats as identified by the sign above.  This sign means that those who have disabilities, visible or invisible, often have to ask a complete stranger to give up their seat.  This puts that stranger in a powerful positions of judging whether or not the person asking is sufficiently disabled for them to give up their seat.  I have friends with disabilities who avoid travelling during peak hour because they don’t have the spoons to argue with someone about their need for that seat.  I have recently witnessed, now that we have a new contracted train operator, station staff boarding trains with people and ordering others out of the identified seats.  This of course only works in stations that are staffed, which sadly isn’t very many of them.  I have regularly witnessed people on trams giving up their seats to elderly and pregnant people, though no one asking for a seat due to their need to sit while travelling.

Most stations have tactiles for those with vision impairment to know where the edge of the platforms and lifts are and there are no issues regarding travelling with any form of assistance dog on the trains (all pets and assistance dogs travel free).  The underground stations (3 in Melbourne only) are the only stations with Hearing Loops, so those who are deaf or hearing impaired have to rely on visual displays for details of the next train – which do not exist at all stations and can be incredibly frustrating when the display says, “Listen for announcements” as it did recently for a friend of mine.  The Hearing Loops themselves are problematic as station staff are often unaware if they are working or not and do not know how to correct or fix any issues that arise.  Hearing Loops are not suitable for all deaf or hearing impaired people as the tone of the announcement may be outside the range audible to them or it may be too quiet to be understood.

Metro Trains has a lacklustre accessibility policy nested in their Customer Service Charter.  They state:

We recognise and respect the rights of all our customers and we consult with the Public Transport Access Committee to ensure that Metro’s rail service is accessible for everyone, everyday.

But focus mostly on wheel chair users and those who need assistance boarding the trains.  They do have a TTY service and their website is somewhat accessible.

The Public Transport Access Committee (which I only learnt about tonight) “is representative of disability organisations in Victoria and includes people with disabilities.  Representatives are appointed for a period of three years.”  There are ways to contact members of the committee to raise accessibility issues with them.  This, at least, is somewhat positive for people with disabilities who use public transport in Melbourne.

Yarra Trams have a plan to make their services even more accessible and actually appear to have a policy in place, including working with the Department of Infrastructure.

I haven’t touched on buses because I rarely travel on them myself (not convenient) and the buses I see are rarely so full that someone has to stand.  I am sure that there are bus routes in Melbourne which are that crowded and where people need to ask whether they spend spoons on asking for a seat over spending those spoons standing.

This whole blog post came about after hearing/reading somewhere someone else proudly stating that they refused a person the identified seat on a train because in that first person’s eyes, the other was not sufficiently disabled.  Then after thinking about writing this, friends who have disabilities discussed with me issues they had recently while travelling on public transport in Melbourne.  I don’t have a solution here, and I wish I did.

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Feminism, Religion

Christianity and women and sex

This is going to be a really short post, but I have to share it after finding this blog post on the internets.  I don’t know who Mark Gungor actually is, apart from someone who claims some authority on Christian marriage and relationships… but after reading the blog post linked to above, I think he needs to start all over again, perhaps with proper education about relationships and statutory laws.

Relevant annoying and icky bits from his blog are below:

I’ll dispel the myth regarding the requirement of a huge emotional connection. Women, more often than men, get hung up on this one and think they have to have all these warm and fuzzy emotions to feel like they can get physical with their husbands. I’m not saying that you always have sex with no emotion or connection–that would not be a healthy relationship. But what I am saying is that sometimes sex can just be sex.

…

As I said, sometimes sex is just sex; it’s what you do when you are married. Just like cleaning the toilet is what you do to keep your house clean…and I bet you don’t have this great desire or huge emotional connection to scrubbing the porcelain! You do it because it needs to be done and that’s the way it is with married sex… it does need to be done! It’s the glue that God gave us to bond us to one another. The bible is very clear that it is your responsibility as a spouse.

Understand that there is no need for all this desire and emotion nonsense. Don’t feel badly if you aren’t overwhelmed by all the over-the-moon feelings and passion ahead of time. There is nothing wrong with you. If you can enjoy sex once you start and have a good time, that’s all that matters. Just break the mindset that you won’t do it unless you feel like it. Let not your hearts be troubled. Just enjoy the deal without all the fuss and worry over the desire and emotion. It’s actually a trap, that if you aren’t careful, you can get caught in and you, your spouse and your relationship will suffer. (Emphasis in original)

Some of the comments on this thread are horrifying.  One woman says she was sexually abused before her marriage and after marriage her husband was not affectionate and was resentful of the healing she had to do from the assault.  She claims that often sex was unemotional and she relived the sexual abuse, and had she known that she could have just been unfeeling about the whole thing, then it would have been ok.  I really didn’t know what to do when I read this comment apart from bang my head against the desk.

A lone atheist who has found the blog through a friend takes on almost all the Christian commenters and the author herself.  She calls out the rape apology present by clearly arguing that such expectations of “having sex when you don’t want to” apply only to women and actually is rape, which is illegal.  She discusses the difference between subservience and equality, and quotes the bible back at those who quote it to her, in good productive ways.  The comments that she participates in are AWESOME.  I’d suggest reading them just for what she’s written.

But this whole post is a big concern – apart from the fact that a marriage counsellor of some description is telling people to just lie back and think of … well something – because it’s aim is at women.  You would never see a man being told to just have sex with someone, even if they don’t want to, because its far harder to fake an erection.

The Christian commentators and author keep returning to the bible, and to their understanding of how relationships should work based on the bible, which is a bad place to start methinks.  Their thinking is narrow minded and flawed and because Christianity is inherently misogynistic, their attitudes towards women are terrible (and sadly so are the attitudes of some of the female commentators towards themselves), and the idea of equality of women in a relationship isn’t really considered.

Some of the male commentators said they liked to do things for their wives because it made their wives happy, but there was very little discussion about how they have sex with their wives when they don’t want to – because that isn’t going to happen.

There is a lot wrong with Christianity and women in Christianity and I could blog at length about it, but for now, I’m just going to headdesk at this post some more and then go to bed.

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Feminism

Feminist Blogs to read

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Here is a list of feminist blogs that I read regularly, some international, some Australian, one from NZ, one from the UK and some who are more USA focused.

FWD/Forward

This is a blog written by disabled feminists (Feminists With Disabilities), and has writers based in the USA, Canada and Australia.  They do a fantastic job of looking at feminist theory and their application and intersection with disability theories, as well as posts on ablest words, treatment of disabled individuals, media coverage, and education.  From their blog:

FWD/Forward is a group blog written by feminists with disabilities. It is a place to discuss disability issues and the intersection between feminism and disability rights activism. The content here ranges from basic information which is designed to introduce people who are new to disability issues or feminism to some core concepts, to more advanced topics, with the goal of promoting discussion, conversation, fellowship, and education.

It is a fascinating blog with amazing writers.  I highly recommend it, particularly if you are interested in disability activism and theory as well as feminism.

Geek Feminism Blog

A friend of my sister writes and possibly founded this blog.  Its a blog for female geeks and looks at sexism in the Open Source community, gaming and more.  Since I am a geek, and move with people in the Open Source community, gaming and other geeky pursuits, I find this blog fascinating in relation to what is going on, how issues are being dealt with and the really great posts that are written by the regular and guest contributors.

Hoyden About Town

I first found this blog when I went looking for Australian feminist blogs.  Its a great blog that covers Australian issues, media reports on feminism, disability issues and has a great link list each week.  There are fantastic articles posted here regularly and I love the way the contributors both write.

In a Strange Land

A blog written by a Kiwi who is now living in Australia.  She writes about Australian and New Zealand feminism issues as well as other NZ political and racial issues as fit.  I love the semi-regular excerpts from feminism theory and the quote on her page:

If all men are born free, how is it that all Women are born slaves? as they must be if the being subject to the inconstant, uncertain, unknown, arbitrary Will of Men, be the perfect Condition of Slavery? and if the Essence of Freedom consists, as our Masters say it does, in having a standing Rule to live by?

Mary Astell, Some Reflections on Marriage, 1700

The Pursuit of Harpyness

The Harpys blog about feminism in the US context, which often has similar but not quite the same issues as found in Australia.  Their posts are often entertaining, amusing and are certainly well thought out and reasoned. They blog on feminism, race and Being A Bitch.

this ain’t livin’

The blog of meloukhia, aka s.e smith, who was recently described as a new wave feminist due to the way ou writes, deconstructs arguments and theories carefully and for ou’s general awesomeness.  She writes about media, disability, feminism, language use, queerdom and stories that take ou’s fancy.  I tend not to read ou’s deconstruction of TV shows since I don’t watch the same ones ou does.  And ou is apparently an old English gender neutral pronoun that s.e smith prefers, hence the use of it here.

Too Much To Say For Myself

A feminist, labour unionist and activist blogger from the UK.  Recently she’s been doing a great job at looking at the evident sexism in the media around the UK elections.  She posts about labour activism and feminism, sometimes how they intersect and sometimes just on each one.

Zero at the Bone

A blog that covers really interesting things about intersectionality, race issues, feminism and disability, and is Australian.  The author is an amazing writer and I love reading her stuff.  She has a good introductory post to her writing here.

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Feminism, Language

Problematic Words: Bitch

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This is the first in which may or may not turn out to be a series on words I have issues with.  I am aware of and support efforts in reclaiming language used against marginalised groups and bodies.  I support people’s identities and the words they use in describing themselves.  This is a post about words that others use and how they are used by others.

Ok, so bitch… lets break it down a little.  Initially the word was used to describe a female dog or female canine.  Dogs are lower life-forms (traditionally) than people and are belongings.  So to refer to a woman or another person as a bitch is a dehumanising exercise, they are now a lower life-form (not human) and are a belonging, whether yours (my bitch) or someone else’s (their bitch).

Its also used in a sex negative context as well, referring to women (and only women) as being like a “bitch in heat”, which suggests that women are uncontrollable when they want sex, much like female dogs.

Bitch is also used to describe certain types of behaviour, such as bitchiness and bitchy.  Typically this refers to back-stabbing, gossiping and other unpleasant behaviour.  Descriptions of this behaviour is also given to gay men, which suggests that gay men are acting like unpleasant women.

If you are “someone’s bitch” then typically this means that you are their belonging.  So if I refer to X as “my bitch” then they’re mine, dehumanised and property.  Not such a good way to describe someone.  However, I do understand, and do refer to my physical belongings, as bitch from time to time.  If something slips out of my hands and I’m frustrated, I’ll say, “Argh! You bitch”, but I’m actually referring to inanimate objects here. And because I don’t like to dehumanise people I’m not going to call someone a bitch.

The Harpies, refer to women sometimes just having to “Be A Bitch”, usually to men, when boundaries are overstepped and there is a need to be assertive or opinionated because the other is not paying attention to your subtext, body language or even polite words about going away.  They’ve written about such things here and here and elsewhere on their site.  I am all behind assertive behaviour and sometimes just having to be rude if that’s what it takes for you to be safe, happy or unharassed, but I still have issues with calling it “Being A Bitch” because I don’t think that that word should be used to describe a set of allegedly unpleasant behaviours which are clearly just being assertive or opinionated as you see fit.

But I’ve been thinking about men’s fear of women’s anger and power and the word “bitch.”

Bitch, bitching, etc.:  these are thrown at women all the time, for any minor “infraction,” from asking for parity in pay or pleasure to daring to stand up for yourself.  I have no doubt that those who use it mean to silence and intimidate women.  (From The Pursuit of Harpyness)

I’m all for telling people to “shut the fuck up” or to “fuck off” when they harass me on the street, on the internet or anywhere else.  If someone calls me a bitch for knowing my boundaries, knowing what makes me feel safe or for turning them down, then that’s their problem and not mine. I’m not going to go home and be upset about it overly, but I don’t think I’ll personally ever reclaim the word “bitch”.  I can be assertive, just like men are allowed to be, and that doesn’t make me a bitch.  I can be opinionated, just like men are allowed to be, and that doesn’t make me a bitch.

I think the word “bitch” is usually pulled out when women act in ways that we’re “not supposed to”.  We’re supposed to be submissive and easy to target.  We’re supposed to be soft, gentle and unassuming… and quite frankly all of that can fuck off.

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Identity

I am not like you

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Recently, and unfortunately I can’t find the page that I read it on, I found an article which discussed visual and verbal thinking.

Research by Child Development Theorist Linda Kreger Silverman suggests that less than 30% of the population strongly uses visual/spatial thinking, another 45% uses both visual/spatial thinking and thinking in the form of words, and 25% thinks exclusively in words.” (Source: Wikipedia)

This amazed me, because I’m part of the minority that thinks only in words.  Visualising something is really hard work for me, and has to have words with it, from which I can draw the picture.  Most of the time I walk around with a conversation in my head about things, it is rarely quiet up there.

I asked my parents, partners and friends how they thought, to test the hypothesis… most people thought in pictures and words, I was the only one I knew at the time who thought in words.  My mother thought solely in pictures and was most distressed that I didn’t have images in my brain like she did – though it adds to the reasons we don’t communicate well.

Until I read this article, I assumed that everyone else was like me, that they had only words in their heads, that they held conversations with themselves and others all the time.  Of course, I should have known better, I’ve been learning all my adult life that everyone is different and that our tastes, colour perceptions, enjoyment of sensation, and tolerances for things are different.

James likes to be touched firmly, a light touch or caress annoys him.  Scott loves to be caressed lightly for days at a time, his brain turns off and he relaxes into it, my girlfriend and a few other friends I know are the same.  I can tolerate a repetitive touch for a little bit before it has to stop or the caresser will lose their limb.  Every one of us likes different things, or subsets of the same things, but in different places or with different textures.

One of my sisters swears my car is more yellow than green, I tell her its more green than yellow.  Each of us see the same vehicle, but due to quirks of nature, we see colours slightly differently and texture differently and each of us goes around thinking that the world looks the same to everyone – because we all think we’re the same and why wouldn’t we?  Its not like we can see or feel through someone else’s body and in a big way we know we’re all part of the same species, we have the same bodies more or less… but we don’t really.  We’re mostly shaped the same, but our nervous system mapping is always slightly different – hence the different enjoyment in sensations.

I think I started to realise this a long time after reading Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency by Douglas Adams, specifically:

“[The horse] slowly surveyed the whole field, and then decided to plan out a nice relaxed day for itself.  A little trot later on, it thought, maybe around threeish.  After that a bit of a lie down over on the east side of the field where the grass was thicker.  It looked like a suitable spot to think about supper in.

Lunch, it rather fancied, could be taken at the south end of the field where a small stream ran.  Lunch by a stream, for heaven’s sake.  This was bliss.

It also quite liked the notion of spending half an hour walking alternative a little bit to the left and then a little bit to the right, for no apparent reason.  It didn’t know whether the time between two and three would be best spent wishing its tail or mulling things over.

Of course, it could always do both, if it so wished, and go for its trot a little later.  And it had just spotted what looked like a fine piece of hedge for watching things over, and that would easily while away a pleasant pre-prandial hour or two.

Good.

An excellent plan.

And the best thing about it was that having made it the horse could now completely and utterly ignore it.  It went instead for a leisurely stand under the only tree in the field.

I thought that Mr Adams might actually have an idea about happiness, and specifically how to be happy – in this instance by making plans for the sake of making them and then letting them go.  I’m a big organiser, I can’t help myself, but I thought maybe I’d be happy if I made plans – because that’d make me happy – and then ignored them.  It failed miserably.  I felt like I achieved nothing I set out to achieve and just got more miserable.  Then I realised what was wrong.  Douglas Adams knows what makes Douglas Adams happy, he doesn’t know what makes me happy.  He is not like me and I am not like him.  Despite our physical similarities, we’re very different inside, in the way we think, feel and act.

Everyone is different from everyone else and this is not a bad thing, but it is a very important thing to understand.  Just because someone does or doesn’t like something that you like, doesn’t mean that they are less of a person or more of a person as a result.

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Uncategorized

Random shit

This morning, while I was sitting at my PC enjoying the last bits of my toast, I heard a car stop and then a guy start yelling.  Being a neighbourly nosey parker, I pulled back the curtains to see a harried young woman being yelled at by a young man.  I wasn’t particularly impressed.  I kept an eye on the couple and she scurried into the drivers seat, where he started yelling louder and then aimed a kick at the door of the car, which I heard impact.  It was at that point that I ran outside to find out if I needed to call the cops or not.  When I got there, the guy was rolling around on the ground whimpering because he’d injured his foot, quite badly.  I asked if I should call the police or ambulance, and was told by the young woman that she was ok, and she thanked me.

It was actually really satisfying to see him whimpering… though annoying that she didn’t a) drive away and leave him to whimper to himself (and hopefully learn a lesson) and b) she comforted him and cheered him up.  By the time I left for work they were both laughing, though I suspect he won’t be kicking anything for a while and his weekend is somewhat ruined.

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Uncategorized

Touching the divine

There are times when listening to music or seeing a piece of art that the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end, I get goose bumps and a shiver passes through me.

There are times when experiencing a particular experience, listening to a piece of music, seeing a piece of art that I can’t help myself grin and laugh at the beauty and happiness of it all.

Both these things are touching the divine.  Not the divinity of a deity, but where someone has created (perhaps even myself) something that reaches inside me and speaks to me in ways that I cannot verbalise more than I have above.  What works for me is not necessarily going to be the same as what works for you.  For example, the music that makes me shiver is often
hundreds of years old, acapella choral music – usually in Latin.  I know what the words mean, but its never the words that hit me first, its the massed voices and the music.  The experiences that make me grin and laugh are things like diving into a body of water and just being surrounded by so much of it.

Why have I chosen to use the word divine?  Because I like it, and because it isn’t always associated with a god or theology.  The Macquarie Dictionary (go and subscribe – its cheap and Australia’s official dictionary), says that some of the meanings of “divine” are:

As adjectives
* heavenly; celestial.
* of superhuman or surpassing excellence
* (Colloquial) excellent

And as a verb:
* to have perception by intuition or insight

These experiences of mine, the music, the art, the other, they all make my life a better and more excellent place to be.  What works for you?

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