I have this thing about pain, it’s not me. Which is odd given I have a very very high pain threshold (which almost saw me not go to hospital with an ectopic pregnancy – so my high pain threshold =/= smart). I tolerate pain well, but I’m still really cautious. Doing something that might result in injury (running, jumping, paying sports) are things I tend to avoid. I’m really scared of falling and breaking something of the sudden pain and the resulting scene that would occur.
Though when I do trip and fall (and I’m still yet to break something) the world doesn’t end, and if I burst into tears with the pain, the world doesn’t end, and on those rare events such things happen someone stops to help me or I am with people who stop and help me.
All the same, I still am really cautious and tend to avoid activities that carry the risk of severe pain (except cooking which I partake in quite a lot). I’m not sure why I’m quite so timid about such things. I think some of it has to do with ballet and the excessive care that I took not to injure myself so I could still dance (with the exception of skinning my knees when falling off my bike).
No, I don’t think that’s it. I climbed trees, climbed hills and cliffs and did child-ly things as a child. I wasn’t hugely daring, but probably more daring than I am now. So why have I slowed down more than others I know, though technically less than others… clearly it’s a growing up thing. I’m far more aware of my mortality than I used to be. I’ve almost died at least once now, so it’s not like I believe I never will.
I’m not upset or worried about my caution, it’s just something I’ve noticed recently and have been thinking about it.