I’m still here, recovering as well as can be expected really. It hurts a fair bit, and when it’s not hurting it itches. I know that itching is a sign of healing, but it’s really irritating nonetheless.
The incision under my arm is about 8 times larger than usual, and it’s cut through muscle, so that’s the one that is causing me the most grief. The lymph node was clearly busy hiding and not wanting to be removed. I have most of the movement back in that arm now, I even was able to lie on my left side last night, so it’s healing slowly but surely.
I have almost one more week off work to complete the majority of healing, and an appointment with the hospital on Monday to go through the next treatment steps. It’s unlikely that I’ll need more surgery (15% chance) or chemo (20% chance) so it’s more likely they’ll check how I’m healing up and propose a date to see someone about starting radiotherapy based on how fast I’m healing.
I’m somewhat anxious about Monday because I don’t know what is going to happen. This is understandable and unsurprising. I will be taking my partners along with me, who the hospital has been very good with, so I have all the support I need, and so they understand what happens next.
Mostly I’ve been spending time on the computer reading twitter, blogs, playing games, and spending time catching up on TV. Lovely people have visited me and brought me gifts of tasty food, hugs and their company. I have received flowers from friends, and calls from people checking in on me that I’m ok. I am very grateful for all the support and love, and it has really helped.
I’m looking forward to joining the Boob Club so I have a support network of people who’ve been where I am now (or who may be where I am now). There is always the risk when you join a group of people with a specific interest that that may be the only thing that you have in common. I’m sure I will find other women who are into social justice, queer rights, and cooking (not necessarily all at the same time). That’s not too much to ask.
I’ve been thinking about Chally’s recent post “What not to say to someone in hospital, part one“, after a call I received from one of my work vendors (as in she’s the account manager for a company and I manage the contract between her company and my client). She was asking me questions about how I was going, as she’d just found out about my diagnosis and surgery, and I was thinking that some of those questions were incredibly impolite. I like her, she’s lovely, but asking me if the surgery involved the removal of my breast isn’t really something I’d ask someone I had a professional relationship with. People are strange. It’s that blurred line between working with someone for years (in this case about 5) and knowing each other well, and what the actual relationship is. It didn’t upset me, I just thought it was inappropriate and something I need to consider for the future.